Anyway...
Since I don't have anything interesting to blog about... How about I just update you on a few things!!! I hope I don't bore you too much!
So, a couple of blogs ago I was sooo excited about this new year. lol... and I still am... but I'm ready to see some changes, LORD! I do realize that change doesn't happen over night and we are just entering the new year... but umm... a *little* change would be nice! lol I'm not complaining, really.... just ready for something new!
My rent wasn't on time this month!... DANG IT! I was really hoping that January would be the start of me paying my rent ON TIME!!! My first check was pretty small... it was just about half of my rent. I didn't expect that at all because I've been working at my new job for about a month now. I found out that my job pays on a two week delay or something like that. I was so confused when I heard that. I had NO CLUE what it meant! I just KNEW I would be ballin' out of control with this check... lol... I had made plans to pay my rent and car note... ON TIME... and do a few other things!! Nope... didn't happen. I'm not worried about it... I know the months ahead will be different. That just took me by surprise!
I'm not going back to school this semester! :(... See... 2010 is NOT the business so far. My step dad was supposed to get some kind of bonus... and that was what he was going to use to help me pay for the 14 hours that I need to get my financial aid back for my last semester. (whoa... can you say RUN-ON! that was a mouth full, huh?!) That didn't work out as planned. When I received that news, I was soooo upset! I hate not being in school. I feel like such a failure... I was in the bed for like 2 days... hating my life! Thank God for Jeremy and my mentor... who cared enough to keep calling... and texting despite my attempts to ignore them! I love you guys! I'm SEMI over it now. It is what it is... and I know that I'm going to finish. I hate when MY timing doesn't line up with God's though! UGH!!... Keep me in your prayers! ;) k?!
Other than that... Life is grand! ;) I still love my job. It's really easy... I'm finally used to the hours... I just had to find something to do to occupy my time while I wasn't working. Right now it's the bible and Grey's Anatomy Season 5! Pretty cool job, huh?!
Jeremy and I are doing great. We are yet learning more and more about each other. That has been a journey. I have all kinds of walls up that Jeremy is doing his best to tear down. Poor thing! Lol... I wish I wasn't so complicated! He's so loving and patient though! Gotta love him! I'm learning how to go with the flow and put my guard down. My last REAL relationship ended very badly... and as a result... I've become very controlling of how things will happen in this one... For instance, I told Jeremy in the beginning that we would NOT put that we were in a relationship with each other on facebook. In the last relationship... I did that and whenever we argued facebook knew all about it. lol Facebook knew i was out of a relationship before I did! It was so embarrassing!... I hated having to explain what was going on to people... and then explain myself again when I took him back... I didn't want Jeremy and I to have pictures up of each other on there either... I realized that all of this was unfair to him. He is very excited about this relationship, so am I, and he has every right to want to flaunt our relationship to the world. I can't allow what happened in my past relationships to affect what's going on in ours! That's been an interesting lesson.... So right now... I have a pic of us on my profile... and I just confirmed Jeremy's request to be his girlfriend on facebook! It's hard, but I'm happy with this decision! I'm growing... lol... I like it! HA!
Communication is another thing I'm learning to do. I thought I had that down... UM... NO! lol I love when I can talk to him about something I didn't agree with concerning HIM... and He does a great job of taking that... and changing it for the next time! Me on the other hand... lol... I HATE when he does it!!!! It's hard hearing what he doesn't like or what bothers him about me...and me having to turn it around and change it!... Let's just say in the past... I would say, "IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH ME, THEN LEAVE!"... a CHILD! As much as I hate hearing it, I'm learning to GROW UP and take a look at myself. He's right most of the time anyway... and when I don't agree...I just brush it off and "keep it moving." He's entitled to his opinion and I kind of prefer for him to tell me in that moment rather than keep it bottled up and it turn into something big later! ;)
So yea... So far... so good!!! We've only been together OFFICIALLY since September and it's already been a cute little baby roller coaster! I'm excited about the months ahead!
I think I've pretty much caught you guys up on what's going on! See... not interesting!... So moving right a long to my day... I will only share a portion of it.
Church was THE BOMB today! I woke up late but still made plans to go to Born Again despite my tardiness. It wasn't until I was headed that way that I decided to go to my "get away" church! LOL... (Jeremy hates when I call it that!... and he hates it even more that I feel the need to go to another church every now and then!) I'm so glad I went. It was God's PLAN for me to be there! ;) I was there in enough time to enjoy a hot chocolate AND spend time in God's presence in the soaking room before service started. I swear it's like a HIGH CLASS hotel for worshippers in that place!! I LOVE IT! I have to limit myself to one Sunday a month... any more than that and my butt will be a member. Ok... confession... I go there on Mondays and Wednesdays sometimes... but I only attend one SUNDAY a month! lol
Praise and Worship!!!... WORDS CAN'T DESCRIBE HOW GREAT IT WAS! That's expected at that church though! The sermon !!!....ON POINT! The pastor was sick so a minister of the church and his wife preached. They did a tag team sermon about their transition from Canada to the U.S. It was all God's plan! I learned a lot from that sermon. To sum it all up, it was about lining your life... your actions... your walk... with God's plan. It's time out for games... and it's time to walk in purpose! It was sooo on point for me. That's EXACTLY where I am right now. I just want my walk to be in line with God's purpose for me. I'm tired of just going with the flow! SHOOT! Ever since this new year started I've been thinking about the little things I need to do to prepare myself for where I believe God wants to take me! I love when the sermon is sooo FOR ME!!
As I was preparing to leave... literally walking out of my row... I was stopped by a man who I had never seen before. He told me that I had beautiful eyes... and then began to share how beautiful he thought I was. It freaked me out a little... and he could tell! lol... He wasn't just talking about it from a physical perspective though.... He started to share how it connected spiritually... Elder Harold had shared that with me before... It was really weird to hear it again. That man, Bill was his name... I think, began to share a lot more with me... too much to type! I literally had chills!...and I immediately felt God's presence! NO LIE!! I try not to be super spiritual and say... "I HEAR GOD" all the time... or "God chills with me on the regular"... lol because I'm still unsure of all that... but I KNOW God was there...! It was an amazing experience! After speaking with him...I sat back down and wrote down everything I could remember and went on about my business... and so did he! I don't know if I'll ever see that man again, but I'm so grateful for his boldness and obedience to the Holy Spirit. Today I walked with so much confidence after that... I was like, "God loves me!" lol.. It was a good day!
So yea... that's STIX right now! Still growing... still learning!!! Living life!... WITH PURPOSE! You coming with me!? ;)
I'm out for now...
Wow - tht was alot. I liked it though. I will suely pray for you a jeremy's relationship. Girl haven't been in a relationship in like 100 years - so I'm sure whoever i get with will have to use a sledge hammer to knock my walls down lol!
ReplyDeleteI need a getaway church too - sometimes you need to be yourself in another atmosphere. I see ya! Do what ya do.
And on the timing note - girl I feel ya. But God will do what needs to be when it needs to be done. Just believe - he has it under control.
Yea... It was a lot!... trying my best not to have long, drawn out blogs! ;) Thx for reading!
ReplyDeleteYes!!! Get a getaway church! It's sooo freeing!
Thx for the advice! I believe... Lord, help my unbelief!