Rambling.

So there's this guy.

Not just any guy....

A different guy..

But the same guy....

Get it?... Oh nevermind. It doesn't matter. All u need to know is that there IS a guy.

I like him and he doesn't know....

Which goes against who I am because when I like a guy I have NO PROBLEM telling him. In fact, most guys that I've dated have been because I reached out first. What can I say?!.... I go after what I want! lol That's not the case with this guy though. He saw me before I had any idea he existed... and then he reached out!

So yea...

We met years ago. Dated for months off and on and then we were no more. Why u ask?! Because I was still in love with someone else. I know... OUCH?! Unfortunately, he was the rebound guy. There was NOTHING wrong with this guy. He did everything right! He was kind, he genuinely cared about me, and was everything I looked for in a guy... physically!

He is....

Dark-skinned
4' inches taller than me
Can dress
Has the cutest lips
OH AND HE IS A DIE HARD FAN OF JESUS CHRIST!! (umm... yea, that's physical! It shows.)

and I let that go!!! smh LOOOOOOSING!!! So anyway... so he's back in the picture.... as a friend. We talk quite often and he has absolutely no idea that I like him again. I don't think I want him to know. Why?!... because I'm afraid that I'm not good for him! I mean really... there is something wrong with me....

I'm always down for a guy and then months later... I'm not into him anymore. I think it's a protective mechanism. I NEVER want to have my heart broken again... so what I do is get out before it's too late! I'm praying about it though... because I REALLLLY LIKE HIM! But in the meantime... I'll continue to protect his heart!

and then there's this "WHAT IF"...

WHAT IF...

he has ABSOLUTELY no interest in me as a girlfriend anymore! I mean, I did him wrong! smh I could QUITE POSSIBLY be LOSIN' right now!


Pray for me guys!!! lol


Whheeeww! I feel better already! Thanks for listening!!


Until next time,
♥ Stix