Just thinking...

HHHEEEYYYY!!!!

This morning when I was headed to work, the most random scripture came to mind. 1Corinthians 13:11-When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.(NIV)... Random right?!... My thoughts exactly!!!

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there are some childish ways I want to hold on to!!! Children are soooooo innocent... I think they understand what it means to have an intimate relationship with God better than we do! Sabrina told me a story on Sunday about a little girl she kept over the weekend. As the girl was getting ready for bed, she wanted to say her prayers! Her prayer was so innocent... so honest... so pure! Not only did she thank God for an awesome day, for her friends, and family... she also remembered to pray FOR GOD!!!! Who does that?! Who actually thinks enough of God to wish Him a great day! lol... It may sound a bit weird... but I got a revelation from that!!!! We're.... ok, I'll speak for myself... I'm guilty of not praying for or honoring Him by thinking about Him... about how my actions may affect how He feels? I just don't think about Him enough... I'm so busy thinking about myself and how I'm gonna make it!!! SELFISH!!!

Another example... Sunday I went to another church!!!! IT WAS SOOO AMAZING! I plan to attend that church randomly when I just want to get away from everybody! I loved it.. Before service they have a soaking! This soaking took place in a small room of the church. In there was a female singer who played the keyboard, a guitar player, and someone else... can't remember what that person was doing. I know there were three people... Anyway... People go in that room and worship God with the worship leaders! The music was sooo soft and sweet! When I walked in there... I PROMISE YOU... the presence of God was sooo heavy! It even smelled different in there! My eyes teared up immediately! It was amazing... I found a seat and begin to just reflect on God's goodness!... As I worshipped, I could hear a little voice singing, "JESSSUUUSS, JEESSSUSSS, JEESSSUSSSS!" I opened my eyes and there was a 5 year old BLACK girl singing a song to God with her hands lifted up!!! I WAS SHOCKED! I loved it! Kids get it! It wasn't something all extra deep!... She was singing her own song to Jesus! THAT'S PURE WORSHIP!!! I've been spending a lot of time with God lately and I asked Him to show me how to worship! I wanted to forget what I had seen and learn FROM GOD what worship was!... and he showed me!!!... through that little girl! One day I was playing my guitar and God said, "There is a special anointing in simple worship!" I believe that! It's not fake... it's not about what you say... it's about what HE CAN SEE IN YOUR HEART!!! I'm getting it God!!!

Another example- I've been listening to a lot of different worship singers lately. One of them being Jason Upton! He is the bomb!!!! He has a song on his album, "Beautiful People" called "Hey Jesus." This is a song that he wrote based off of some questions his little boy, Samuel had for Jesus!!! Again... so innocent, so honest... so pure!!! Here are some of the questions he asked:

Hey Jesus

Are you still on the cross or are you feeling better?

And if you're feeling better, will you come down and play with me?

... to the next to me place!!!!

Hey Jesus

When I wave at you, do you wave back?

When I'm feeling sad, are you sad too?

Children are sooo deep!!!... without being deep! lol... I know that doesn't make sense!!! But 4real... those questions were so deep to me! He just wanted to spend time with Jesus! He talked to Him like they were friends! How many adults do you know do that in the church? People are sooo "deep" in the church, dude! I can't take it! It's a show!!! lol... Why can't we just chill and be true with God?... He is our friend!!!! I'm done preaching to God... I want to TALK to Him!

So yea... I agree with that scripture... but in some ways I still wish I had that innocence!!! Growing up in the church kind of pushes that out of your heart! I've been praying that God give me back that innocence I once had! Kids understand worship! It's not about religion with them... They just love Jesus and want Him to play with them!!!! lol... I LOVE IT!!!! So I leave you with this...

How personal is your relationship with God?!

How intimate are you with Him?!

Do you have an honest/REAL relationship with Him?!

Until next time,

P-CE!!!!

OK... Ask me again!!!! :-)

What's new, Stix?!

Ok... Remember when I said that I was single until I tell you otherwise... WELL OTHERWISE HAS ARRIVED!!!! I know, i know... this was just 2 days ago! Well my friends, a lot can happen in two days!!!!! Everything has been the bomb!... nothing out of the ordinary. We've been talking about being together or whatever, but I really didn't expect it to happen this soon!!!!! I'M SO FREAKIN' HAPPY!!!!

Ok... So I've been with the youth all day. We went to an exhibit in Nashville today... It's called World Vision Experience: AIDS. THE BOMB!!!! We basically went on a tour in a church gym into the lives of kids who are battling AIDS in Africa! It brought me to tears! I hate how jacked up the world is!... it sucks, dude! It was definitely an eye opener! We all went on different tours and talked about it when we got to Brian and Rachel's (the son and daughter in law of the bishop and first lady) house. The kids all got something from it which was good... Anyway... We chilled, ate, and played games and then it was time to head back to the church...

... then it happened!

Jeremy had been texting me all night to see what I was doing. I knew he wanted to stop by Brian and Rachel's but he was with his brother and dad... which was awesome! He said he would meet me at the church and to tell him when I was headed that way... I thought it was really odd... but hey... I wanted to see him so I agreed to do as he asked... So yea... he met me there... We talked with the kids for awhile as we waited on their parents and then I made my way back to my car. I could tell he was up to something... I just couldn't figure out what it was! He told me to get in my car... push my seat back... close my eyes and keep my door open! I was scared... Jeremy plays a lot so I didn't know what to think when he asked me all of this... well I had a thought... but I won't go into all that! LOL... He walked away from the car and then I felt something huge on my lap... I opened my eyes and it was a hard guitar case!!!!.. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!!! I'VE BEEN PLANNING TO BUY ONE!!! I just haven't had the extra money to get it!!!! I was so surprised!!!.. I didn't know what to say! I loved it! He told me to open it... and in my mind I'm thinking, "I know what a guitar case looks like, Jeremy!" lol... God is still working on me!!! Inside was a note that said, "Will you be my girlfriend?!... Yes (open)... No (that sucks)... Maybe (... in two minutes you'll check yes?)" I know... cute right?!... Of course I checked yes!!! The note on the inside was really sweet!!! It was perfect actually!!!!! I almost cried... I was fighting it so hard!!!!! No guy has ever made me this happy!!!... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not even about the guitar case... THE BOY IS AWESOME... Straight up from the Lord!!! So of course... we hugged and talked and then we both left! I called my friends... my mom... and I just found out that he did the same! Well... he called and told his sister and then his mom called him... Not sure what his mom said but his sister was happy!!!! I love it, guys!!!! This is so different!!! It feels so different!!!!

Remember when I told you guys that I would start blogging about different things that God is doing in my life... WELL... this is definitely one of those... GOD IS REALLY DOING THINGS!!! And I'm excited about this one!!!!

"You're somebodies girlfriend... AND YOU'RE HAPPY ABOUT IT!!!!"- Melissa Watkins!!!! lol <-- my friends know!!! This is major!!!

Until next time,

P-CE!!!

What's new, Stix?!

NOTHING MUCH!!!!

I really don't have anything super, awesomely random to blog about tonight... I'm just blogging because I'm bored... took a nap... so I'm not going to sleep any time soon. My friends invited me over to watch Whitney's interviews on Oprah, but I've seen them already!!!!... and I wasn't in the mood to hang out... kind of just feel like chillin! I really need to do my hair so I'll probably do that... and Bro. Reggie gave me a few dvds that he wants me to watch and critique... so I'll probably watch those as I twist these things on my head!!!!!!

MY HAIR... AAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!

I'm soooo tired of my hair!!! I just want to cut 'em off and hand all 187 of them over to Locks of Love!!!! LOL... I'm sure they can't do anything with my locs!... but they should... HECK!!! I HAVE LOCKS!!! LIKE THE REAL DEAL... MAKE A LOC WIG OR SOMETHING!!! Ok... That's just unnecessarily retarded!!! I wouldn't do that... That's just gross! Back to my hair problem!!!!... I love my hair... I love to see it grow... Every phase of growth has been pretty darn cool... One month my hair is too short for a certain style... then I try it again a few months later and it's just the right length! It's cool... and it's growing like crazy... Well... here's the problem!!! I have wayyyyyy too much hair on my head!!!! and it's thick as crap... so you can only imagine how heavy it's getting. It's beginning to scare me... I don't want my hair line getting all jacked up because my hair is pulling it back!!! I think I'm going to try and wear it up more. It feels lighter... and I don't have to worry about it!... And then the freakin' maintenance!!! When I got locs, I was under the impression that I would just get up and go... and every month go and get it re twisted!!! Little did I know that this crazy recession was going to make its way known to America and steal all of my money! DUDE!!! I used to have a set appointment every month to get my hair done... now I'm stuck doing it myself! I just can't afford to throw $100 out right now!... as bad as I want to... So... my hair looks trashed every now and then because I'll go like 2 months before I do it again.. LOL... it sucks! Oh well... gotta get over that one!!... It's about that time to do them again!... I really want to wait, but... when your significant other tells you that it's about that time... LADIES, IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME!!! lol

Did I hear 'significant other'?!

Yea... you did!!!! I know, I know!!!... another boy, right?! WRONG!!!... This time I think God tossed me a man... MY MAN... THE ONE FOR ME! Oh goodness... I'm pretty sure I'll regret this in about two hours! I usually don't do this... not because I don't like people in my business... well that's sort of the reason... but another reason is because I have this fear that when I make it known to people then it's gonna end!!! It always happens to me... When I dated people in middle school... the moment I wrote my name -N- whoever the guy is.. like the next day we were no longer together! lol... I'm so serious! That still happens to me... I put a relationship on facebook ... like a few months later... BAM!!! We broke up!!! I write about a guy in my blog.... BAM!!!... We are no longer together!!!! LOL... But this one is different! I really believe this is the work of the Lord!!! This goes wayyyy beyond just writing names together or making it known on facebook!!! This time my friends... I think I found him!!!!

He is a member of the church that I attend. I've been at Born Again a little under a year and I had never, EVER seen him before... He's been a member like all of his life! I sat behind him randomly during a graduation ceremony at my church one Sunday. They were honoring those who graduated in the last year... something like that. He was one of those being honored! I didn't get a good look at his face... I saw his profile and I heard his voice! He was pretty funny... jokin' like the entire time! I remember thinking that he had the cutest little infant head! It looked so small with that graduation cap! I didn't think much else after that... That same night... or maybe the Sunday after that I went to a spot called Lovenoise with my friends. I saw him just as I was leaving out... I remembered him... I don't know how... but I did! And he was soo freakin' cute! His smile was adorable! We talked... but for some reason he and Anjelica seemed to be hitting it off! She's very outgoing and a bit flirtatious... it seemed that way at least... So I walked away so they could talk... it clearly didn't seem like he was interested in me! lol... which was fine!! To make this story short... He was just as interested in me as I was in him! He saw me way before I saw him! So now... months later things are going really well... close to perfect actually!!!!

I try not to talk about him to my friends so much because I don't want to be a pain!... God knows I can talk about him all day! I tend to call my mentor about him because she is sooo mushy and she loves it! lol... She's been very helpful in this relationship too!!! THE BOMB!... I used to call my friend Renee. She's mushy too!... She's sooo extra though... She starts crying and crap! lol I can't take all that! lol She has to ask in order for me to tell her now!!!... lol That's my girl though... Ride or freakin' die!!!! Anyway...

I met his mom today! She is sooo sweet and funny! She wants me to come over and hang out with her some time! I'm actually looking forward to it! She seems very nice. OMG... This is so not like me! We are taking things really slow... Yea... we hang out... talk on the phone and text all day, every day... but there's still so much to learn... still so much to consider! So I'm single until I tell you otherwise!!! He's an awesome friend!... if this goes where we both think it's going...friendship is very important!

HE'S THE BOMB, DUDE!!! THE FREAKIN' BOMB!! He's a gentleman, he loves God, He is very sweet.... funny, smart as crap, and LIKES ME A LOT! The way he looks at me makes me... ughhhh, i don't want to say it... melt!!! LOL... There is so much love in his eyes! It used to make me very uncomfortable because I'm not mushy!!! I wanted to say, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?!? STOOOOOPPP IT!!!!" lol... I don't feel that way at all anymore! I like it now! lol... I won't go into details of what my thoughts are now, but basically he can look at me whenever and for however long he wants!!! LOL... GOD! You are funny!!! This has to be God, y'all!!!... I'm sooo not like this! My best friend Sequoia and I used to talk about love all the time... we both want to experience the real deal sooo bad!!!... what God wants for us all! I always complained about how LAME mushiness is... and how I'll never be that way!... which is weird because I wanted love... but didn't want to be mushy! How is that possible?! lol I was so confused! Anyway... Her response was that when you've found the right one those things will just come naturally... You'll want to be mushy... You'll want to hold his hand, look into his eyes all the time!!!... You'll even want to submit to him!... which I didn't think was possible because I'm so independent and don't want a man telling me anything! SHE WAS SO RIGHT!!!!... I'm so different now! I don't submit to him.. because he's not my husband! lol... but I can see myself easily doing just that! Anyway... I didn't mean to do this... I really didn't!!!! oops!! I've said way too much... UGH!!!... see what I mean! I can talk about him all day!!! lol...

I guess I had something interesting and random to talk about after all!!!

I need to start on this head of mine.. ooooo... one more thing! I went to Sonic not too long ago and bought another Route 44 Cherry Lemonade Slush!!! It's official... I'M ADDICTED!!!! lol Try it for yourself!!!! You're gonna fall in love!!!! Ok... I'm out!!!

Until next time,

P-ce!!!!!

Oh wait... I forgot to tell you guys his name... JEREMY!!!! JEREMY -N- JESSICA!!!! CUTE RIGHT?! LOL

But the greatest of these is....

LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My weekend has been THE BOMB.COM!!! (as AJ would say!) I did a few new things this weekend! I actually had a lot of fun!!! I was off the entire weekend.. only because I worked like a Hebrew slave all week... with not much to show for it!!! Still praying that other job comes through... Are you praying?!

Anyway, I feel refreshed... lol I tried to find another word but that's exactly how I feel. I need to have more weekends like this!

MY SISTER'S KEEPER

I was able to bond with new and old girls from the organization that I am in, MSK! Have I told you about this organization? Well, it's a christian organization for women that I joined about 2 years ago. It's located at my church as a community chapter and there are two collegiate chapters. I'm a member of the collegiate chapter at MTSU. I joined the organization so that I could have accountability, a support system, and be surrounded by women who all love the Lord and want to make a difference in the lives of others. :)

My sisters are the bomb!! Friday night I worked a double... I decided at the last minute... that I was gonna stay with one of my MSK sisters, Cris that night. I ended up staying with another, Lola... we caught up and had a great time. It was great chillin' with her. We literally talked until we fell asleep... at least I think that's how it happened. I remember falling asleep... I hope she wasn't still talking. LOL...

Saturday we had a business retreat! OMG! I loved it... We did a lot of activities to get to know each other... some were fun... some brought us close to tears! It was great. Our advisors brought us the Word in their own way. It was great. We learned about what it means to be sisters... how to have each others back!!!... HOW TO LOVE EACH OTHER... which I know we already do! I feel so close to them! I'm excited about this year. We are gonna minister more on campus... which is why we're there... that's exciting! I can't wait! I LOVE THE LORD... and yall know I'll do everything in my power to help others get to KNOW Him too! UGGGHHH.... I LOVE YOU JESUS!!! lol... STOP IT!... ok! I had plans to go home Saturday night... but I was way too tired so I stayed at Cris' house. We had an opportunity to catch up as well... I LOVE THAT GIRL!!! Let me tell you! She has the hardest exterior ... but she is SOOO SWEET! That's my girl... my lil sis...

FAMILY REUNION!!!

Ok... So today started off so wrong! I woke up super late... like 7:05 and I had to be at church at 8:30!!! I WAS STILL IN MURFREESBORO!!!!! Not good. I should have been out of there at 6:45! My butt should have gone home last night. Oh well... I got to church at like 8:45 and had not missed a thing! PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Today my church went out into the community to preach the Word of God to those who may not want to hear it, who can't get to church... whatever the reason... THEY WERE GONNA HEAR THE WORD TODAY! Ha... I love it! I didn't get the opportunity to go out because it was my Sunday to work children's church. You all know that I LOVE KIDS so I wasn't hurt at all about not going out with them. Our kids LOVE God... I love it... don't get me wrong... they are a bit wild... but they KNOW GOD... AND THEY KNOW WHAT HIS WORD SAYS! They will correct you in a hot minute if you are not careful. I love them! I thought I was helping out... for the past few months that's all I've been doing. Well... I was supposed to teach this Sunday... I had no clue. Ms Cynthia mailed out our outlines last month... for some reason I didn't get mine... So I had to read mine during Praise and Worship and figure out how to teach it to 7-12 year olds in a way they would understand what I was saying. Thank God it was easy. My lesson was on LOVE!!!! How ironic!!! I've been surrounded by LOVE all weekend!... It was gonna be easy. In the outline they gave me the scripture and a way to explain it to them... WHAT BETTER WAY TO GET KIDS TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THAN WITH MONEY?! lol... They were all ears. I won't go into all the details but the scripture was 1 Corinthians 13:13, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." The kids seemed to enjoy the lesson... and when asked questions at the end... they could answer them!!! YESSS THEY LISTENED!! Good... can't wait to do it again!!!

We had a picnic after everyone returned from doing the mission work! We all ate, chilled, laughed... HAD A GOOD TIME! It felt a lot like a family reunion! I could literally FEEL/SEE THE LOVE!!! I loved it! I met a lot of new people and hung out with my buddies! I danced with my new little brothers and sisters and chilled with some of the older members. Those are my folks! LOL...

Have you guys ever heard of the Jerk?! It's the weird dance that looks like a backwards skip!!! HARD AS CRAP!!!... well to me anyway! I know I looked a hot mess, but I tried!... and I'm gonna keep trying until I get it!...AND I WILL GET IT! My little brother Zack was really trying to teach me! He was so sweet and patient! I think he was like 17... IDK!

Anyway, I ended up staying until the end! I was soooo tired afterwards... but it was worth it!!! I played with the kids, talked to a few of them... I had a ball! I wish we could do stuff like that more often!!! OH, AND IT WAS HOT!!! I was craving a route44 CHERRY LEMONADE SLUSH like the entire time!... When it was over... you better believe I stopped by Sonic. I got Jeremy one too!!!... poor thing looked like he was about to die! LOL...

SOOOOO....

That was my weekend!!!!! THE BOMB... too bad Monday is only 5 hours away!!! OH WELL... time to do it all over again! I wonder what I'll be doing next weekend??!?!?

Here's the jerk... so it's only in the very beginning, but the choreo to this song is SICK!!! Aj... we have a dance to learn!!!! "TEACH ME HOW TO JERK!!!" <----- click HERE!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!! You'll enjoy it! I promise! :) I couldn't embed it like I wanted! :(

Until next time,

P-CE!!!

"One Step at a Time"

Yea, yea!... It's been forever, right?! I've been doing a lot... growing a lot... going through a lot... BUT I'M ALL GOOD NOW!!! lol I haven't forgotten about blogging... I even have a few drafts from where I started blogs but decided not to post them!!! I decided that those blogs weren't all that important! Blogging is fun... I only choose to blog about what I don't' mind you guys reading...no sense in posting about drama that I don't want you asking about, right?! Not looking for that type of attention!!!!!

BAD NEWS...

I decided to stop the Jamaica blogs!!! I've allowed too much time to go by to continue with them!!! Just know that my trip to Jamaica was life changing! I've grown in my relationship with God and I'm not afraid to BOLDLY PROCLAIM THAT I LOOOOVVEEE GOD!!!!... AND I WANT EVERYONE ELSE TO LOVE AND KNOW HIM TOO!

POST JAMAICA!!!!

Since Jamaica, I've been on assignment to get close to the youth at my church, show them the love of God, and teach them what it looks like to serve Him and still have fun!! I've been hanging out with our youth leader and he has included me in a lot of upcoming events! I'm so excited about that!

Last Sunday I went to Woodland Hills with our youth! Woodland Hills is a development center for young men. I think you have to have had 3 felonies to get in this place! THESE GUYS ARE HARDCORE!!!... I was blessed by them though!... Through their tough shell, I could see Jesus! Some of these boys were quoting scripture like it was nothing! You could tell they were raised by people who know God and tried to raise them to know Him too. I believe they listened... they know what's right... They just aren't surrounded by enough people to help them live this life! It's not easy... it's always easier when you have friends/loved ones who are trying just as hard as you to be more and more like Him!

Our ultimate goal was to let them know that we are no different from them. Our story may not be theirs but we all have done things that aren't pleasing to God... We wanted to show them something different... how to turn away from those things that got them there in the first place! I LOVED IT... I'm convinced that I was called to do mission work... This isn't as big as a trip to Jamaica but their souls are just as important! They received us and opened up in a way I didn't expect! It looks like we'll be going back more often. We will be teaching on Sunday mornings now! I think I will teach on 1st Sundays... still waiting on details! I was also asked to come back and help with the guitar lessons on Thursdays. I don't want to go by myself so one of the guys from the youth group, Taylor peoples, who is also a guitar player may go with me!!! I can see relationships forming with these guys already! They all are like little brothers and sisters to me... So anyway... that's where the growth has taken place! God is doing some things and I'm excited about it!

Speaking of God doing things...

God is showing out!!!... straight up... SHOWING OUT! I'm going back to school in the Spring! lol... I only shared this with my best friend because I hate telling people that I'm going to do something and it not go that way!... Things are looking up so I don't mind sharing. I knew I needed to go back... I just didn't know how I was gonna do it... or if it was time to do it! I received confirmation from some random guy in Jamaica on the beach!... I knew it was God... He didn't know anything about me yet he was really talking like he knew me... AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE... like a movie or something!... So yea... I knew I needed to make some changes in order to do this... This meant letting go of some things that I had grown to love!!!... like my DREAM CAR!... My baby... MY XTERRA!!! I love that truck so much! It's all I've ever wanted since I was like 13!... The note was crazy high though... and I wasn't getting the help that was promised to me when I first got it... After paying my car note,my phone bill,and my rent I had no money left to save for school!... Since my truck is the highest bill... it had to go!.... Yep guys... I don't have my truck anymore!!!!! :( GOD BLESSED ME WITH A 2005 DODGE NEON THOUGH!... She's cute too!!!... I haven't named her yet... but she'll get one soon... got to get to know her first! LOL! With my note being only $188, $264 less than what I was paying before, I'm sure to get back in school next semester! I'm excited... cuz one of my besties is going in the Spring too! It should be fun going back to school with her! SHE'S THE BOMB!

THAT'S NOT ALL!!!!!... Looks like I may have another job soon!!! Yep... something other than Olive Garden. I would be working from 10pm-7am... perfect time for going back to school... I think so anyway. I'm pretty sure I'll work both jobs until I go back to school in January. I'll give you more details WHEN I land the job! Pray with me guys...!!!!

Was there anything else I wanted to share with you guys?!... hmmmm

YYYEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!... GO AND BUY WHITNEY HOUSTON'S NEW CD, "I look to you!!!!" IT IS SOOOOO GOOD! I've been listening to it none stop for the last 3 days!!! GO COP THAT... IT'S A MUST HAVE FOR SURE!!!!

Ok... I have plans to chill with my homie, AJ! I guess I should start making my way out...

Until next time,
P-ce!