Soooo... I watched Bridal Wars for the first time EVER last night! While that was probably one of the best movies I've seen in a while, it brought up the worst feeling in the world. I was reminded of something that I've been trying not to think about yet alone voice! Ugh. Lets just say, when the movie ended, I cried like a freakin baby.
Remember how I blogged about my wedding plans not going like I thought they would? The only thing that makes sense is the LOVE we have for each other. Lol But, lucky for you, that is NOT what this blog is about.
When I thought about this period in my life, I imagined everything and EVERYONE coming together perfectly. I'm back at the drawing board with my plans and I have ONE friend, maybe two, in Nashville that I feel comfortable sharing it with. Why? This is not how I thought it would be. I thought there would be weekend slumber parties at my place with plenty of food and my bridal magazine collection. I pictured friends who were genuinely happy for me and wouldn't mind my random outburst of inspiration boards, bouquet arrangements, and theme ideas. Why at the happiest time in my life do I feel so darn lonely? Why do I feel like no one cares? Ok, two care. Why do I suddenly feel guilty when I bring up my wedding? And remember I'm speaking of my friends in Nashville, you know, the family I chose for myself? Smh. It shouldn't be this way, should it? I shouldn't feel like I can't talk about my wedding in fear that one of my single friends would feel depressed or like it will never happen for her. I shouldn't be questioning if a friend's "happiness" is genuine. Smh.
At one point, I blamed myself. "Maybe I'm being selfish. Consider the feelings of your friends and don't talk about your wedding." Well, I've tried that. And it feels wrong. I SHOULD be able to talk about my wedding without fear of my friend's feelings. I mean how much sense does that even make? It's MY WEDDING, OUR WEDDING *in case my babe reads this*! lol It should be about me... *us*. Right? Anyway, I thought I was over it. Clearly I'm not. I HAVE made the decision to be happy, regardless though. And those who can't find it in their heart to care about this new journey Darius and I are embarking upon can leave my life. You clearly weren't a friend anyway!
With that being said, that movie was the bomb! Lol Don't allow my dramatic blog to keep you away from it! I encourage you to check it out, if you haven't already. I recognize that I'M SO LATE!! lol It will definitely make you want to pick up the phone, call your best friend, and tell them how much you love them! OMG, what do you know, my BESTEST in the whole wide world just called. I told her that I was blogging and she told me to say hi to you guys! Lol Gotta love her!
Anyway, I'm done.
Until next time,
♥ Stix
