24.

(Written the day after my birthday)

Now that I've had time to reflect, I'm ready to write. I've been doing a better job of counting my blessings, embracing my uniqueness, and making myself available to God. There is something familiar about this change.

When I was in the middle of my freshman year of college, I made a decision to change. At the time, change for me was to stop cursing, drinking, and partying. I recognized that those things were only getting in the way of my education and devotion to God. It was in no way benefiting my life. I was so dedicated to this change! I knew that God would be pleased and I knew my life would change. In my mind, I expected positive change. That change did come, but not immediately. I lost the friend that I was closest to in Murfreesboro. That hurt. I thought our friendship was more than a late night of drinking and clubbing. Like Jesus, I endured some pain to get to where God promised me. Also like Jesus, My life changed for the better. That time of loneliness turned out to be the best times spent with God. I eventually became apart of an amazing sisterhood where I felt safe. We all loved God. We all wanted to share the good news of Jesus Christ. I'm not saying we were perfect because we weren't. We fell, we got distracted, we lost hope....but we had each other. We held each other accountable.

I'm remembering that this morning. I'm remembering where I was mentally and spiritually when I decided to change. While cursing is the only thing that I didn't run back to, I'm not in that same place. There was reason behind my change. Now, I don't curse because it's something that I got used to. That's about to change. I'm getting back to a level of godliness that will not only please God but will be a witness to some young person out there... To anybody that God wants it to touch. The other day God encouraged me to remind a friend that our life is not our own! God put us here for a purpose and the devil will do everything in his power to distract us. Those same words are encouraging me this morning. Who wants to die not knowing why God put us here? I don't.

So today I'm making some changes. I will commit to every promise that I make to God. Christian complacency is no longer my life. I surrender to you, God! Use me as I am... Remove what's not like you. Give me the courage to BOLDLY proclaim that YOU ARE LORD!

I recognize that this type of commitment only gives the devil reason to "try me", but I'm no longer afraid. I don't fear evil.... Not when I serve a God with such power! I mean, really, devil! You don't stand a chance! LOL Like my friend posted on FB yesterday, "Devil, I STILL WIN....GIVE UP!" LOL I feel you, Cristti.

Anyway, I'm done. Be encouraged.

♥

Stix

Blessed.

I'm doing a better job of counting my blessings lately.

My grandmother and I had an amazing conversation after I shared with her how blessed I am to have all four of my grandparents. I saw each one on Sunday and they all gave me little pieces of wisdom that I couldn't wait to journal about. After I shared a few of my blessings, my grandmother did the same. I didn't realize how proud she was of us! As she shared them, tears begin to fall from her eyes. It was beautiful. I have to admit though,..it was the SLICKEST cry I have ever seen. I almost want to say that her eyes were just watering. I wish I could cry like that! LOL


Anyway, I encourage everybody to start counting your blessings everyday. It takes your mind completely off of the things that were worrying you before!

...:::Today:::...

I am blessed to have family and friends who support and love me unconditionally.

I am blessed to have an amazing fiance' who values who I am and strives to make me happy.

I am blessed to have a good paying job that offers quarterly bonuses AND BUYS US FOOD ALL THE TIME!! lol

I could go on and on...

Seriously though, I am already smiling. Never mind the other things that were bothering me earlier... I have God, friends, family, a boo, and a JOB! I'm good! HA!


In other news, Darius will be in town tomorrow!!! I AM GEEKED! I've missed him so much!


Until next time,
♥ Stix

STRESS-FREE PLANNING

I'M 417 DAYS FROM MY WEDDING!!!....


and so ready to ELOPE!

I've spent most of my life planning my wedding, but NOT ONCE did I think about the many personalities that would show their faces during this process. I always imagined it being stress-free. I always imagined it running smoothly and everyone kind of just going with the flow with what I had in mind. Nope not the case!!

...::sigh::... Why can't that be my reality?

I would encourage anyone who is single or almost married, lol, to mentally prepare for the different personalities that WILL come your way! Whew... the announcement of your engagement alone will bring out many wolves!! *interceding for you now, my friend*

AND ANOTHER THING! I've always KNOWN who was going to be in my wedding... Thanks to my amazing fiance' who doesn't want a circus wedding, my wedding party is a lot smaller than I wanted. I'm honestly okay with that now. That decision made the bridesmaid situation less stressful.

Here's the thing though, I have to figure out what to do with all of my friends! It would be a lot easier if Darius and I didn't have so many siblings that I would like incorporate in the wedding. I just might have to add my homies to the guest list..... I'm still trying to figure that part out.

...::sigh::.... At the end of the day, I'm just ready to be married!!

I talked to my big sister from St. Louis today who encouraged me to just breathe and take a step back. There is so much that Darius and I would like to have set in stone before he is deployed, but right now, I have to chill. I'll probably step back into planning and making decisions next week. That is when Darius will be in town and when we meet with a wedding planner. My prayer is that she will help guides us in what is already a STRESSFUL PROCESS!

*takes a deep breath* MOVING ON...

It's amazing to see this process first hand-- my reality! It's going so much differently from what I imagined, that's for sure!

LOL... Word of Advice, ladies.... STOP PLANNING YOUR WEDDING! IT'S NOT GONNA GO THE WAY YOU PLANNED!!

The colors that I've always dreamed about---CHANGED!

My bridesmaids--CHANGED!

My wedding location-- CHANGED!

LOL! Seriously though, It kind of makes sense. How can you plan a wedding without your fiance'? To hand him all of the ideas that YOU came up with by YOURSELF, is a little selfish...don't you think? Besides, it's much more fun with him by your side.

Darius gave me a lot of control in the decision making process at first and to be honest I was upset about it. (I know... I was shocked by it myself.) I thought that he didn't care. You'd be surprised how involved you will want your fiance' to be!! Things have definitely changed! He and I talk about it a lot more now and it's not forced! He's genuinely excited. I just received an email from him today with a possible photographer for the wedding and engagement photos. It made me smile!

Anyway, there's my vent for the day!!


Have a blessed week!!

♥ Stix